This exercise will help you gain perspective.
Identify and describe a very unpleasant or stressful situation (Activating event A), that you experienced at work.
On a scale of 1 to 100, put an “X” in the place that indicates how bad the event was for you. 100 is “totally bad,” 50 is “medium bad,” and 10 is “slightly bad.”
On the scale to the right, write some examples of bad things that could happen to you or others. Set the “real” disasters at 90-100, things that are bad but not pure disasters at 50-90 and those that are not so bad at around 10.
Now that you use the disaster scale, you would still give the same value to the event you described at the top of? A “Y” on the second scale where you would now evaluate the negative situation. Put an “X” on the scale where you valued it previously.
Is there a difference between your first and second valuation?
Have you got a perspective on things now ?
If not try the following thoughts:
- Do not blame others for making you unhappy. Take responsibility for making yourself happy. “Be your own successful blacksmith,” says a Swedish proverb.
- Give yourself permission to make yourself happy — even if others make you unhappy when you make yourself happy.
- Take time to do things that will give you pleasure and enjoyment in the short term.
- Do things for others without expecting anything in return.
- Refrain from short-term pleasures and put up with short-term discomfort to achieve long-term benefits.
- Accept the fallibility of others and your own.
- Do not take things personally.
- Take a chance even if you may fail at work or in your personal relationships.
- It does not matter what other people think of you and what you do.
- See uncertainty as a challenge. Do not be afraid of it.